things are good and im collecting people every day that make things even better.

that is all.

give me kisses.

so about three months ago i moved out with my best friend because i hated life at home. one month into that we started dating. now, we're fighting very much and he's leaving for very far away and ive just wasted three months of pay and time. im very pissed. very, very pissed.

this is the third relationship in a row that has lasted only one month. i'm sick of dating jack asses. someone throw someone quality my way.

fuck spending time at multiple stores trying to find the right card. fuck spending time writing a message inside that expressed all of my graditude and love for my father. fuck finding a picture of us together on the beach that makes me remember when things were actually good in my fucked up household. fuck driving to his house after work when im tired to give him the card. fuck giving him the card and having him treat me like shit after i make a geniune effort to show him how much i care.

fuck my dad, fuck fathers day, fuck family.

im happy to be in my apartment, even if it gets boring or lonely or i have no money or food. its better than living with them.

I got the internet back up. I'm glad. The new apartment wasn't really home until I could stare at the screen for hours.

So the biggest update in my life has to be my brother. He died April 3rd. He was only 15 and his birthday was only one month away. He died of a drug overdose. He was drunk and high on weed, valium and zoloft. Really? Really Jeff? You're such a badass and such a popular kid and this is how you decide to go? On a futon with foam on your mouth?

Basically, I hated the kid. I did. Just look at my submission titled "my brother". We fought non stop and he was violent and hateful. But I miss him so much. I feel like I'm going to wake up one morning and be back in my bed. Before I found Jeff dead. Before the funeral, the wake, the hundreds of crying kids, and the unbearable unpleasantness in my home that forced me to move out.

I feel bad, always.

<3

when i'm looking for stock photos of girls, I DONT WANT YOUR CHEESY MYSPACE PICTURES. seriously. i look under PORTRAIT to see your face. full on. your whole face. not half your face covered by your scene-ass hair cut from a ridiculous angle. wtf. these pictures are all so unusable. unless you're a lonely middleaged man looking to masturbate, then you should check out the female stock photos.

/rant